My mom's a bitch
My mom's a bitch

She thinks she knows everything
But she don't know shit
I wanna go live with my dad
I wanna go live with my dad
And Glenda

I'll feed the dog later
I'll feed the dog later
I'll feed the dog later
I'll feed the dog later
I'll feed the dog later
I'll feed the dog later
I'll feed the dog later
I'll feed the dog later

What's the matter, mom?
Can you not read signs?
'Cause it clearly says keep out
What's the matter, mom?
Are you too dumb to read?
Or do you not respect people's privacy?

I flip her off behind her head
I flip her off behind her head
Every time she tells me to do something dumb
Like make my bed
I don't wanna be her friend
I don't wanna be her friend
On Facebook
I want a TV in my room
A TV in my room
A TV in my room
A TV in my room
A TV in my room
A TV in my room
I want my own TV in my own room
When you drop me off at karate class
Please don't yell out that you love me
'Cause the only thing that you really love
Is being a pain in everyone's butt

[CALEB, spoken]
Oh dark evil lord Satan
I pray that you would make Applebee's transfer mom out of state
Or that Glenda and dad would let me stay there this summer
If I get Cs and above

My mom's a bitch
My mom's a bitch

[CALEB, spoken]
Anyway, that's my song. That's my song I wrote about you

[MOM, spoken]
That sounds great, Caleb! You've gotten so good at the guitar!

[CALEB, spoken]
Fuck you