[Verse 1]
Oh, well, imagine
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
And I can't help but to hear
No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding!
What a beautiful wedding!” says a bridesmaid to a waiter
"And, yes, but what a shame, what a shame
The poor groom's bride is a..." Shh

[Chorus]
I chimed in with a, "Haven't you people ever heard of
Closing a ***damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of
Closing a ***damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of

[Verse 2]
Oh, well, in fact
Well, I'll look at it this way:
I mean, technically our marriage is saved
Well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
Oh! Well, in fact
Well, I'll look at it this way:
I mean, technically our marriage is saved
Well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
Pour the champagne
[Chorus]
I chimed in with a, "Haven't you people ever heard of
Closing a ***damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of
Closing a ***damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of

[Post-Chorus]
Poise and rationality
Again

[Chorus]
I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of
Closing a ***damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of
Closing a ***damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of

[Post-Chorus]
Poise and rationality
Again