If you're in Andytown or the Creggan
Oh, we'll greet you with "Tiocfaidh ár lá"
Oh, we're nice and polite by and by night
We'll answer to 'Níl' agus 'Tá'
Don't mind the machine guns and pistols
We wear them now only for show
And if they're ever used, the orangemen we'll abuse
And we'll teach them old bigots some law

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force
The guardians of Ulster are we
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you fenians and taigs
We're known as reformed RUC
Now some of you fenians may wonder
What a sudden conversion we had
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky
We were all droven partially mad

Now, come all of you born-again Christians
Oh, you better not give any jaw
For we don't give a hoot, the plastic we shoot
You'll feel the long arm of the law
And all you Sinn Féiners and counsels
Oh, you'll get a fair craic from the one
Don't take any crap from those UDR chaps
We'll teach them what's right and what's wrong
[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force
The guardians of Ulster are we
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you fenians and taigs
We're known as reformed RUC
Now some of you fenians may wonder
What a sudden conversion we had
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky
We were all droven partially mad

There are some of our members now walking
The roads in south County Armagh
And sure, up in the glens we're all making friends
On the tricolour now, there's no bar
Now some go unconscious for hours
And then they go into a daze
Well, they walk to the Maze and they open the cage
And release all the prisoners of war

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force
The guardians of Ulster are we
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you fenians and taigs
We're known as reformed RUC
Now some of you fenians may wonder
What a sudden conversion we had
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky
We were all droven partially mad
Now, we've lots of friends down in Dublin
No pals of the loyalists are we
Oh, never again will we shoot fenian men
With papists we'll sit down to tea
We're just like the Gardaí in Dublin
Or the coppers in New York, you see
Oh, we're Hermon's brigade and we're all well-behaved
The impartial police force are we

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force
The guardians of Ulster are we
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you fenians and taigs
We're known as reformed RUC
Now some of you fenians may wonder
What a sudden conversion we had
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky
We were all droven partially mad