Gonna get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says
Gonna get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says
And even if I feel like her manager or
Her passenger or her furniture
Gonna get me a friend and do whatever she says

Gotta get me a girlfriend, ooh, before I get lost
Gotta get me a girlfriend, ooh, whatever the cost
Even if she’s an alcoholic
An impossible genius like J-Jackson Pollack
Gotta get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says

Gotta get it together, forever, with my swan
Gotta get it together, forever, like we’re swans
I don’t care if she’s a nun or a bawd
Either way’s the way that pleases the Lord
Get me a girlfriend and do whatever she does, or does not, want

I’ll be lucky to get me one undiseased and poor
I’ll be lucky to get me one what am filthy and rich
‘Cause you can’t stay liquid all your life
And a girlfriend helps to solidify
Get me a girlfriend and do whatever she says

If she breaks my heart I know what to do, I’ll be fine
Gotta tell her story better than she’s gonna tell mine
‘Cause "what" has "how," and "where" has "when," but
"Why" is lonely and without a friend
Get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says