I'm smarter than a chair until it needs red paint
Then I'm amazed in a forest of stares
Crying oil, and picking horsetail feathers
From my eyes

Oh-huh, a-hoo, a hoo!

A grin of shadows press my face
I am a forger or a fake
Who dabs and bursts each blood-filled egg
And whips his raw steak of a brush into an ass

Oh-huh, a-hoo, a hoo!

I wanna quit with all my skin
But I can't find a place to sit
With all this red on my hands
Or even trace these slapdash tears back
To the start

Oh-huh, a-hoo, a hoo!

I coat it twice, and thrice
I rub it on like it's tan lotion
And like a child, I let it stream
Watching it ebb, full of emotion
My neighbour stares, I'm red as Mars
He's smarter than a can of paint
"It looks real nice" he finally says
"And where's your lovely wife today?"

"She's in the house baking a cake."

Oh-huh, a-hoo, a hoo!