[Verse 1]
Dear Oderus Urungus
Hey man, do you remember me?
I remember you
I was the guy with the grizzled face
And the lousy weed
And the really bad tattoo
Now I'm getting 20 to life for
Killing the guy that was humping my wife and
I thought I'd write a letter to you

[Chorus]
Scallop boat now baby
Scallop boat
I.V. coke now baby
Funky scallop, funky scallop boat

[Verse 2]
I used to work on the scallop boat
Made some money there
I used to do the I.V. coke
Lost some money there

Scallop boat now baby
Scallop boat
I.V. coke now baby
Funky scallop
Funky scallop boat
[Chorus]
Oh whoa
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh-oh
Oh whoa

[Outro]
Down here in jail, I do as I'm able
Got caught smoking crack so they cut off my cable
But could you maybe come by and bust me outta here?
But there's one thing that I don't understand
I thought The South Pole was the home of the band
Or do you just
Keep your slaves in Richmond?

Don't break up man, keep it together
I love you guys
I love you guys!

Funky funky
Funky funky
Funky funky scallop boat