[Verse 1]
I've got pork fat and gravy flowing through my veins
I serve dead monkey pudding and platypus brains
I'm Grandmother Stuffum
Grandmother Stuffum!
I came to this school to feed you kids
And bake up pies with jellied squids!

Kids must eat!
Kids must eat!
Kids must eat!
Kids must eat!

[Chorus: Gramma Stuffum & Food]
Kids were not put on this earth to nibble (No!)
You all must be helpless and fat (Yeah!)
That way, you can't get yourself in trouble (No!)
While Grandma gets to feed you curried rat!

I will
Stop you
With moose
Fondue!
You will
Chow on
Tuna
Meltdown
Eat it
Scarf it
Bite it
Cram it
Down it
Chow it
Want it
Pig out
I will make you...

Fatter!

[Verse 2]
I came to this school with my food
To conquer the young and rude
I'm Grandmother Stuffum
Grandmother Stuffum!
You must eat now, try my deep-fried boar
But you just never listen, cursed Kids Next Door!

Kids must eat!
Kids must eat!
Kids must eat!
Kids must eat!

[Chorus: Gramma Stuffum & Food]
Kids were not put on this earth to nibble (No!)
You all must be helpless and fat (Yeah!)
That way you can't get yourself in trouble (No!)
While Grandma gets to feed you toasted bat
You can't
Beat me
You can't
Toast me
You won't
Grill me
You won't
Poach me

Cook me
Stew me
Boil me
Fry me
Baste me
Broil me
Roast me
Bake me
You'll just make me...