Okay!

He could have been a sailor but

[Chorus]
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
He could have been a sailor
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
He could have been a whaler
Could have been a tailor
He turned out to be Norman Mailer

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh!

[Verse 1]
He stood back, smoked a joint
Twenty thousand midgets, yeah they got the point
Momma was a hamster
Daddy was a sailor
Real tough childhood for such a fucking flailer
Go!

He could have been a sailor but
Whoa
He's so glad, he's Vlad
[Chorus]
Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
His dad was Norman Mailer but he's
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
He could have been a tailor
He could have been a whaler
He turned out to be a, he turned out to be a

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh!

[Verse 2]
He stood back, smoked a joint
Twenty thousand peasants, yeah they got the point
Mommy was a hamster
Daddy was a sailor
Real tough childhood, real tough childhood!

[Bridge]
Oh, when he was a boy
They sent him to the Turks
But you know that they didn't like him
Because all the Turks were jerks
When Vlad returned home, his wrath
For the ancient Turks had spurned
But the ancient art of impalement
Something that that boy had learned, yeah
Oh, how he learned
He learned, they burned
Rotisseries of corpses turned
Oh, he's so glad
He's so glad
He's so glad he's Vlad

What a bloody, bloody gay fellow