[PAPYRUS]
Hi, little human! Welcome to my abode!
Make yourself comfy, come on in from the cold!

Thank you for dating me, coming to my home
Ooh! You know what would be great? A present bone!

I made several of these for all my friends!
Though I don't give out that many

[SANS]
Guess that just depends

[PAPYRUS]
On whether or not you feel like I do-
Why is there a dog in my house?
There it goes, with the bone...

SANS!

[SANS]
What?

[PAPYRUS and SANS]
STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!
(you gonna tell that to the orchestra?)

[SmittyG513]
I KNOW THERE'S AN ORCHESTRA, IT'S NOT INCIDENTAL... WILL YOU JUST GET OUT OF HERE?

[SANS]
Alright, fine, geez, bye

[PAPYRUS]
Ahem, where was I? OH YES! Second verse, if you please!

Well! That went badly, so sorry about that
Now! If we're going to date, let's get it down pat!

I've actually never done this before
But I have a manual, let's read this some more!

Step one: be sure you want to go on a date!
Well, I'm pretty sure you do, so that works out great!

Step two: Ask the other person on a date-
Papyrus will go on this date!
That went well! I can tell!

Step Three: Make up your clothes and hair!
With that, you'll show them that you care!
Wait, are you wearing clothes right now?
Not only that, but earlier-wow!
You've wanted this date for a while!
You chose to wear clothing, today, of all days, was your interest in me... predestined?

No, this cannot be!
I can't handle your dating power!
Human, can't you see?
You're blossoming on me just like a flower!

But you won't best me!
Nyeh heh heh heh, no, not Papyrus!
Very soon you'll see
My love spread on you like a virus!

The great Papyrus has never been beaten at dating, and never will!

You see, I, too, can wear clothing! In fact, I always wear my special clothes under my regular clothes! Just in case I get asked on a date! BEHOLD! What do you think of THIS? AH! The silence! The humility! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

But, you do not comprehend the true power of these clothes! Therefore, your silence is invalid!

This date will never go any further, you see!
Unless you come on over and inspect me!
For within these cool clothes lies a great surprise!
You might find it, but you won't believe your eyes!

Wow, you immediately went for my hat!
And there's a present for you, well, how about that?
Behold, a plate of artisan spaghetti!
Meant to be shared between friends like you and me!
Let this test our bonds of friendship
Let us see how strong our friendship be!
You and me!