[PAPYRUS]
Hey, guys! Guys! Guys! You'll never guess what I found! I thought it was a rock, but it was a human!

[SANS]
Don't think they heard you

[DOGGO]
Heard what?

[PAPYRUS]
Would you dogs stop playing poker for one second and listen? I, the great PAPYRUS, detected that a human has entered Snowdin!

[DOGAMY]
Oh, just that?

[DOGARESSA]
Well, that's no big deal, is it, sweetie?

[DOGAMY]
Not at all, sugar-lumps

[PAPYRUS]
Then why does Undyne want us to capture the humans?

[DOGS]
UNDYNE?
[DOGAMY]
Come on, then! Let's find that human!

[DOGS]
Finding that human won't be hard, no no!
Not for the great royal guard, oh oh!
Find that human, get the goal, oh oh
Get that human's human soul, oh oh
Oh

A HUMAN! In Snowdin!

[PAPYRUS]
See? I told you! I found a human, and now I shall capture it!

I can't believe it
I found a human
When I capture it with puzzles, in the royal guard I'll be
I'll go call Undyne
Her jaw will hit the floor
She'll cry tears of joy and be so happy with me!
They won't resist my style and my charm
They'll be taken at once, this is going to be great-
Stop right there human, listen to me-

[DOGS]
Go dogpile that human!
[PAPYRUS]
What the he- guys, wait!

[DOGS]
What?

[PAPYRUS]
Shouldn't I be the one-

[DOGGO]
Pfft, no

[LESSER DOG]
This is royal guard business!

[PAPYRUS]
I'm with the royal guard!

[GREATER DOG]
You're in training!

[DOGARESSA]
Sorry, Papyrus, but you did your part wonderfully~

[DOGAMY]
Dearest, where'd the human go?
[DOGARESSA]
I thought Doggo was watching him!

[DOGGO]
I didn't see anything

[DOGS]
FIND THE HUMAN!

Finding that human won't be hard, no no!
Not for the great royal guard, oh oh!

[SANS]
It's right there

[DOGS]
Oh

[PAPYRUS]
They're even waving! How did you miss that?

[DOGGO]
Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to

[DOGS]
Dogpile attempt number two! GO!

No more games, human
Don't run away
We'll get you, human
Then we get paid!

We're the greatest guardsmen ever
Nothing gets past us
Except for you that one time
But let's not raise a fuss!

With our obedience training
We'll grab you, we bet!
Hey, is that a stick I see?
HEY! HEY! HEY! Gimme a pet!

[PAPYRUS]
Guys! Really? I thought you were better than this!

[LESSER DOG]
NOTHING IS BETTER THAN A BELLY RUB

[PAPYRUS]
I thought we were gonna capture-

[GREATER DOG]
Yeah! But first, belly rubs!

[SANS]
How you gonna get pet by a kid who's not there?

[DOGS]
NOT THERE? FIND THE HUMAN!

Finding that human won't be hard, no no!
Not for the great royal guard, oh oh!

[PAPYRUS]
THEY BARELY MOVED!

[DOGS]
Oh

[DOGGO]
I didn't see that coming

[SANS]
So, get the human?

[DOGS AND PAPYRUS]
GET THE HUMAN!

[SANS]
Okay, cool. Have at it

[DOGS]
We're the greatest guardsmen ever
Nothing gets past us
Except for you once again
But let's not raise a fuss!

[GREATER DOG]
With our skill and fitness
We will win the day!

[DOGS]
Tackle them into the snow!
Then roll around and play!

Sit, stay, fetch, shake hands, roll over
We know all the tricks!
Let's keep playing, wait, we're fighting?
Dang it, we got mixed up again!

We're the greatest guardsmen ever
Nothing gets past us
Except for you once again
But let's not raise a fuss!

[DOGS, (PAPYRUS)]
With our skill and fitness (Come on then, human, much more to do)
We will win the day! (I've prepared all sorts of jumbles, puzzles, traps, and you'll see-)
Tackle them into the snow! (Here on this table, ready to be microwaved,)
Then roll around and play! (a frozen plate of my own homemade spaghetti!)
Sit, stay, fetch, shake hands, roll over (If you feel hungry, go ahead and take a bite,)
We know all the tricks! (it will distract you, and there you will want to stay!)
Let's keep playing, wait, we're fighting? (Okay, maybe it's stuck to the table-)
Dang it, we got mixed up again! (Hey, human, where are you going? Please do not run away!)

[DOGS, (SANS), PAPYRUS]
Where'd the human run off to? (What happened to third time's the charm?)
Weren't you keeping watch?
No, this snow is freakin' awesome (What happened to the Royal Guard helping me ou-)
Can I sniff your-

[PAPYRUS]
GUYS!

[DOGS]
WHAT?

[PAPYRUS]
The human's gone!

[DOGS]
GONE? Find the human!

[DOGS, (PAPYRUS), SANS]
Finding that human won't be hard, no no
Not for the great royal guard, oh oh!
Finding that human won't be hard, no no
Not for the great royal guard, oh oh! (Oh... This is why I don't work with amateurs!)
Finding that human won't be hard, no no
Not for the great royal guard, oh oh! (Would you say you had a bone to pick with them?)
Finding that human won't be hard, no no (SANS!)
Not for the great royal guard, oh oh (Hey, it's all in a dog-day's work.)
Oh...