[DAVE]:
I was sittin' around, in the middle of night, all bored with nothin' to do
I called up a friend, he put some stuff in my end, I taught him a hundred different ways to screw

[JOHN, spoken]:
Oh, Dave!

[DAVE]:
I conksucked his boots, touched his immigrants, the chips just started to fall
Now, after the night, I was given a fright:
A baby tummy shaped like a ball. Damn, John

I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
Birth my best friend, it's true

[JOHN, spoken]:
Oh, no...

[DAVE]:
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
Koalababies up the avenue
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
My ovaries are out the wazoo

[JOHN, spoken]:
Oh, no!
[DAVE]:
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
(spoken)
You're gonna come out my hoo-hoo. 

[JOHN, spoken]:
But how is that possible?

[DAVE, spoken]:
I don't know. Such is the magic of Skaia. 
He entered all of my...seven gates. 

[JOHN, spoken]:
Oh...

[DAVE, spoken]:
He touched me, John. 

[JOHN, spoken]:
Meow...

[DAVE, spoken]:
And prototyped my medium. Now my kernelsprite is rich with data. And now...you're the baby!

[JOHN, spoken]:
NOOOOOOOO!
[DAVE, spoken]:
Open wide!

[TOBY FOX?, spoken]:
What the fuck, FL studio? (laughter)[DAVE]
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
I'm birthin' best friend, it's true
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
Koalababies up the avenue
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
My ovaries are out the wazoo
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby wears shoes
Babies, babies, babies, babies
Babies, babies, babies, babies, babies, babies, babies, babies[JOHN]
You're havin' a baby, and the baby is me
Ah, birthin' best friend, it's true!
You're havin' a baby, and the baby is me
Koalababies up the avenue
You're havin' a baby, and the baby is me
Your ovaries are out the wazoo
You're havin' a baby, and the baby wears shoes
Babies, babies, babies, babies
(scatting)