They call me Skipper Plumbthroat
'Tis a name ye'd best remember, yar
I'm captain of me old boat
The Grundy Catchyegrabber, oh-ho

I travel the seven seas
In search of valuable ink
It sparkles like a blessing
Of unicorns made from zinc

I'll row, row, row me boat
Collect the valuable prize
I need the stuff to stay afloat
'Tis the apple of me eyes

This ink that I do seek
Comes from little Squiddles
They swim around and squeak
And are full of Squiddle giggles

My fishing nets will grab
A tentacle or two
And maybe afterwards
I'll have some Squiddle Stew

Row, row, row me boat
And throw out all me nets
Those squids won't know what hit them
‘Till they're paying off me debts
(Yes… if I… if I ever can pay off me debts. I mean, I… I still have to pay for school. My… I mean… just… never mind, never mind! Just… well…)

Sometimes I have to ask meself
Skipper, where's your life led you
You dropped right out of law school
To sell rutabagas

(I need a tangle buddy.)

My poor business flopped
I was penniless once more
So land for sea I swapped
And left my native shore

Struggling to stay afloat
But it's all right, I guess
Just as long as I can gloat
And sail and fish and aggress

(Aggress. I love aggressing. Yar, har. Ah-har. Yar-har!)

I've come far, that's for sure
Nanna Plumbthroat would be proud

(Yes, she would.)
I've no time to be demure
‘Cause I'm scary as a storm cloud

(Or scarier!)

Yar-har
The fishing life's for me
I love me job, I love me life
Catching Squiddles of the sea

(Yar-har, har. I’ll get those little Squiddles yet. If I can… if I can just get enough money and… maybe overcome my crippling depression. But… but I have friends! I have a crew! They… they like me and… but… well… I mean…)