[Verse 1]
There's a judge in the city
He goes to work every day
He spends his life in the courthouse
Keeps his perspective that way
Yeah, I respect his decision
He's got a lot on his mind
He's a little heavy with the gavel
But he's light on fines
One day there was a minstrel
He came to town on a charge
That the blew someone's ears off
Because his amp was too large
And the song he was singing
Was not for love, but for cash
Well, the judge weighed the charges
He fingered his mustache

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 2]
Well, the jailhouse was empty
All the criminals were gone
The gate was left wide open
And a buck and fawn
There, eating grass in a work yard
When the warden walked in
He took the rifle from a prison guard
He said to him with a grin
"To shoot those deer would be stupid
We already got 'em right here
Why don't just lock the gates and keep them
With intimidation and fear?"
But the warden pulled the trigger
And those deer hit the ground
He said, "Nobody will know the difference"
And they both looked around
[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
"There's still crime in the city"
Said the cop on the beat
"I don't know if I can stop it
I feel like meat on the street
They paint my car like a target
I take my orders from fools
Meanwhile, some kid blows my head off
Well, I play by their rules
That's why I'm doing it my way
I took the law in my own hand
And here I am in the alleyway
A wad of cash in my pants
I get paid by a ten year old
He says he looks up to me
There's still crime in the city
But it's good to be free"

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 4]
Well, I keep getting younger
My life's been funny that way
Before I ever learned how to talk
I forgot what to say
I sassed back to my mommy
I sassed back to the teacher
I got thrown out of Bible school
For giving the finger to the preacher
Then I grew up to be a fireman
Put out every fire in town
Put out everything smoking
But when I put the hose down
The judge sent me to prison
He gave me life without parole
Wish I never put the hose down
Wish I never got old