[Intro]
Grab the chair, boys, we got another bucket-kicker!

[Chorus]
Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death

[Verse 1]
The cake is on the table
And it is awfully bright
'Cause there's so many candles on top
And you are so decrepit
Your chest so tight
When you blow them out your lungs are gonna pop
You cannot complain each time you feel a pain
Though you have arthritis and gout
'Cause when you start kvetching, all your teeth fall out

[Pre-Chorus]
So have another cigarette
Have another beer
Raise your glass to one more year (Gone!)

[Chorus]
Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death
[Verse 2]
Your skin is so worn out and old
All over your body, it's saggin'
Especially loose is your old caboose
You're draggin' it behind you in a wagon!
Well you're an alcoholic and you're blind and deaf
And you have Alzheimer's, I bet
You're too old to remember
But you're too drunk to forget

[Pre-Chorus]
So have another cigarette
Have another beer
Raise your glass to one more year (Gone!)

[Chorus]
Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death

[Bridge]
You're so old, you smell like dust
And now your bones begin to rust
You see that face? It's full of wrinkles!
[Pre-Chorus]
So have another cigarette
Have another beer
Raise that chair to one more year (Raise!)

[Chorus]
Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death
Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer
To your sweet death