[Chorus 1]
Coin-operated goi
Scary but it's true
He is not a Jew
He won't touch a Horah
Won't light the Menorah
And it's not a lie
He ain't even circumcised
Oi! Coin-operated goi

[Verse 1]
I'm not so sure
That he's kosher
Despite what is in the brochure
Everything he eats is wrapped in ham
Plus he tried to pork me in the can
I should go and ask my rabbi
If it's a sin if he and I
Do it through a small hole in the sheet
Just big enough to slip my kosher meat
Groin-Masticated Joy
Oh, boy!

[Chorus 2]
Coin-operated goi
Can't hang with the Mohels
He ain't got the curls
I say we convert him
It ain't gonna hurt him
Well maybe down below
He will have to undergo
A groin-operation ploy
[Verse 2]
His bris we'll preform
To make his schmuck deformed
The Mohel gets a dollar
If he makes him holler
To make his cock more slim
We'll chop off his foreskin
Give it to the kvater
He'll bless it for seder
We'll nosh on it later

[Bridge]
Oh I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
For Rosh Hashanah
A coin operated goi, oh boy!

[Chorus 3]
Coin-operated goi
Scary but it's true
He was not a Jew
But honestly no schitzvah
He had a bar mitzvah
But now he's kosher too
He's just like me and you
A Coin-operated Jew, aha!