[Verse 1]
There's a magical land I know
A place where I grew up
And I'd make a deal with the devil himself
To see that place blown up
There in that interesting land I know
Where no one has a brain
They all wear jeans that are acid-washed
And yet they think I'm insane

[Chorus]
I would get down on my knees
And service the Japanese
'Til I reek of old sushi
But please
Bomb New Jersey
I would happily kowtow
To my new leader chairman Mao
I would even learn Chinese
Just, please
Bomb New Jersey
(Bomb New Jersey)
(Bomb New Jersey)

[Verse 2]
I would go tell Jong Il Kim
That they're making fun of him
In a kimchi hating town that's known
As New Jersey
Better yet, I've got a plan
I will convince Pakistan
That India can be found somewhere
In New Jersey
[Refrain]
New Jersey is a place where I grew up
They pelted me with rocks and garbage
I guess it's tough to be the fruit in a garden state
And if you have a sexy girlfriend, then they're doubly irate

[Verse 3]
I would climb a rocky crag
And plant a Russian flag
On a smoldering hole once known
As New Jersey
Oh, it would be a tragic loss
If both Bon Jovi and the Boss
Are somewhere out of state
When the Danes nuke New Jersey

[Refrain]
It's a place named after a sweatshirt
So what more can you expect, sir?
And if you try to express your individuality
They will throw you to the ground and they'll kick you in the teeth
Like they did to me

[Outro]
The bombs come down on Morristown
And Trenton's up in flames
Newark, we drowned, then burned it down
But Elizabeth still smells the same
Many butts will breach on Monmouth Beach
We'll erase Orange from sight
But before I leave this land I loathe
I bid New Jersey goodnight