When it's time to celebrate
Grab a drink and fix a plate
But before you stuff your face
Think about all the dead Jews

When you're having special times like this
A raise at work, your first French kiss
At the very height of bliss
Think about all the dead Jews

No matter what you're doing
Think about all the dead Jews
Being happy is selfish
Think about all the dead Jews, hey!

When it's game time and you're up to bat
Or showing off your brand new hat
Or checking out a meme of cats
Think about all the dead Jews

When you're with some hotties on a boat
Making them laugh with Sandler quotes
You say "Sex!" and they say "Totes!"
Think about all the dead Jews

It's a three-way, three-way, three-way
But think about all the dead Jews
One of them wants to read your screenplay?
Think about all the dead Jews
And everyone who hates the Jews
'Cause so many people hate the Jews
The Pharaoh, the Cossacks, the Nazis, Jesse Jackson
Your neighbor, the UPS guy, the girl who looked at you weird at the Gap

Oh, oh, oh
Think about all the dead Jews, hey!
Think about all the dead Jews, hey!
Think about all the dead Jews, hey!