Kevin: Ok everyone, stay where you are. We're here to---

Abi: Wait, please can I?

Kevin: Can you what?

Abi: Do the entrance. I've always wanted to do this

Kevin: Ok, sure

Abi: And on the day we come it's over

Kevin: Whoa no no no no no no you can't say that! We're not the cops; that's their thing!

Abi: Oh, but it feels so good

Kevin: No no no no no no look everyone we're licensed detectives. Everybody remain calm and let us do our job here. Can someone tell me what's going on?

Choir:
There's murder at the grand ball
There's blood upon the dance hall
Assassins at the pageant
Doing deeds you can't imagine

There's crime inside the dance floor
An end they never asked for
There's a killer here among us
And they hunt tonight upon us


Kevin: Ok thank you all for answering my questions, I'd like to see you three over here. You are Sorandra Osborn?

Sorandra: That is Lady Sorandra Osborn to you

Kevin: Whatever. Uh, you are Temna Warner?

Temna: Temna is fine, because I'm not a stuck up cow

Sorandra: Who are you calling a stuck up cow?

Temna: MOOOO

Sorandra: You low-class tart wobble!

Abi: Bitches please!

Kevin: Thanks. And you sir are Elliot--

Elliot: Elliot Marsh I'm Sirandra's boyfriend I was--

Temna: That's what she thinks

Sorandra: I'm sorry is this slut speaking hour?
Temna: MOOOOOOO

Abi: Cut the crap out or I'll turn you both into butt polyps. Go ahead Kev

Kevin: Ugh, this is gonna be one of these. Ok Sirandra you first. Tell me what happened

Sorandra:
Look around all the pageantry you see
Was funded by my family, was paid for by me
I am generous and kind, this event was organized
To celebrate the launch of a new monorail line

Elliot can prove I'm not stuck up for you see
He's my big blue collar boytoy and he's here to serve drinks
Despite our family history, despite that she's a tart
I let Temna come through the goodness of my heart

But Kyla who's my cook well I'm afraid has dropped dead
Poisoned they are saying, someone murdered my chef
And Elliot is innocent but he was the last
To serve the drink that Kyla drank that poisoned glass

Poor Kyla has a daughter and no husband and so
Her daughter named Rebecca is now sadly all alone
Although I've caught Kyla looking at my pendant like
She was thinking she could steal it but she can't because it's mine
Choir:
There's murder at the grand ball
There's blood upon the dance hall
Assassins at the pageant
Doing deeds you can't imagine

There's crime inside the dance floor
An end they never asked for
There's a killer here among us
And they hunt tonight upon us

Kevin: Ok, thank you Sorandra that was very helpful

Abi: Jenkies
Kevin: What? Did you just say Jenkies?
Abi: Yeah I'm thinking that it could be my new catchphrase. Jenkies!
Kevin: No that should very not be your catchphrase
Abi: I could just say it anyway
Kevin: So the guys says Doc one day I feel like a wigwam and the----
Abi: Ok ok, no no no I give. Who's next?
Kevin: Temna, please tell us what's happening here


Temna:
Sorandra likes to brag that she's good with all the boys
But the fat cow doesn't know that I seduced her boy toy
Elliot he visits me on Thursdays it's true
It's payback for in highschool when she stole my boy Drew

Our family's been fighting for generations now
And she really threw this party just to gloat and strut about
The pendant of Kultainen that her mother stole from mine
It's a relic made by goblins that we had a long time

Poor Elliot is innocent I'd swear it on my life
But he held the glass last before Kyla died
If you look there's something red right there upon his shirt
Is that blood? I never thought Sorandra's parties could get worse

Choir:
There's murder at the grand ball
There's blood upon the dance hall
Assassins at the pageant
Doing deeds you can't imagine

There's crime inside the dance floor
An end they never asked for
There's a killer here among us
And they hunt tonight upon us

Kevin: Thank you Temna, Sorandra we're going to need to see this pendant of Kultainen
Abi: That sounds goblinish..
Ryvyr: They shouldn't have that

Sorandra: You better make sure the slut doesn't steal it
Temna: Oh you're one to talk about stealing
Sorandra: Your slut of a mother started it
Temna: Your herpes infested grandmother--

Kevin: Cut it out! Be quiet whilst I speak to.. Elliot?

Elliot:
I sell insurance pleased to meet you, Elliot's my name
If you need expanded coverage I can get the best rates
Yes I date Sorandra, she's been good to me I think
And Temna did seduce me, just around I think last spring

Sorandra offered money to serve drinks at her affair
The insurance game is tough so I take odd jobs here and there
Sorandra gave to me a drink to give to Temna see
But this red stain is tomato sauce, some fool bumped into me

I set it in the kitchen and then went to wash it off
And then Kyla went and drank it while stirring up a sauce
It goes to show you never know if this is your last day
So be sure that your insurance is paid up and up to date