[Da Floozy]
Okay, you's all ready? Joki you gotta wear pants or a dress or somethin' not everybody needs to see your goblin hoo-ha!
Okay, get ready everyone - Here we go!
Heya! Floozy Here!
I wanna talk to you's about my amazing group of friends and our fun and exciting super group we got!
Helen's Hell Hags!
[All]
We're Helen's Hell Hags, we're ready to fight
We're Helen's Hell Hags, if you can't be nice
We're gonna take you and stick your tush down
Unpack your trauma till you're turned around
We're Helen's Hell Hags, coming for the bad guys
We're Helen's Hell Hags, cause it's therapy time
We're gonna make you unpack your trauma today
Acknowledge your emotions and send you on your way
[Da Floozy]
So my name is Da Floozy heya!
[Shira]
Hi I'm Shira!
[Galaxy The Witch]
I'm Galaxy The Witch!
[Joki The Goblin]
I'm Joki The Goblin! My mom was Ryvyr
[Buffy Rabbit]
*inaudible mumbling*
[Da Floozy] (spoken)
And that's Buffy Rabbit! He don't talk so good but that's okay we love him anyway
We protect people from abusers. We try it the nice way, but if they don't wanna listen we dish out the tough love!
Okay gang, one more chorus before we get started!
[All]
We're Helen's Hell Hags, we're ready to fight
We're Helen's Hell Hags, if you can't be nice
We're gonna take you and stick your tush down
Unpack your trauma till you're turned around
We're Helen's Hell Hags, coming for the bad guys
We're Helen's Hell Hags, cause it's therapy time
We're gonna make you unpack your trauma today
Acknowledge your emotions and send you on your way
[Da Floozy] (spoken)
Okay gang, we're picking up a distress call from a nearby narrative! We got a girl in trouble! Let's skedaddle!
--
Look at what you ma-ma-ma-ma-made me do. [x3]
Look at what you made me do
Imma give it to you!
---
[Shira] (spoken)
Let's kick this guy's ass!
[Galaxy The Witch]
I got a spell that'll make his sphincter itchy for a month!
[Joki The Goblin]
I love violence!
[Da Floozy]
Ah, hang on gals! We gotta give him a chance to grow!
Okay bub, either you agree to a sittin' circle or we're gonna torch ya tushy!
[Guy]
Ah okay I'll try the sittin' circle. But I don't like you dames!
[Galaxy The Witch]
Sit down buddy, before you give me an excuse to-
[Da Floozy]
Sittin' circle time!!!!
[Guy mumbling]
Okay...
Well sure that's understandable!
[mumblings turns to sobbing]
Oh this is just a lot to unload I get it! No! You got a lot of baggage let it out! Let it out!
[Da Floozy] (singing)
Cry, cry child
Cry, cry child
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry, cry child
[Da Floozy] (speaking)
Okay gang! He's uncovered some of his trauma and unconcious triggers and agreed to continue therapy with a licensed therapist! Our work here is done! Let's go gang!
[Joki The Goblin]
I was hoping for violence
[All]
We're Helen's Hell Hags, we're ready to fight
We're Helen's Hell Hags, if you can't be nice
We're gonna take you and stick your tush down
Unpack your trauma till you're turned around
We're Helen's Hell Hags, coming for the bad guys
We're Helen's Hell Hags, cause it's therapy time
We're gonna make you unpack your trauma today
Acknowledge your emotions and send you on your way
[Da Floozy]
Hang on gang, we got a distress call coming in from a frat house in sector five!
[Shira]
Uh-Oh
[Galaxy The Witch]
Maybe there'll be alcohol!
[Joki The Goblin]
I love alcohol!
[Galaxy The Witch]
I thought you loved violence
[Joki The Goblin]
I love violence AND alcohol, I'm well rounded!
[Da Floozy]
Let's go gang!
[Dude Bro]
Yo, super chicks! Me and my dude bro were having a kgegger and respectfully conversing with these two lovely ladies in hopes of recieving their consenting romantic affections, when this UFO appeared and beamed my Dude Bro up and took him away! Ya gotta help him!
[Shira]
Aliens? Cool
[Joki The Goblin]
How are we gonna get to their spaceship?
[Galaxy The Witch]
My coven mother taught me a bunch of spells from hell, I have one that'll get us right up there!
[Da Floozy]
Let's get 'em!
[Galaxy The Witch]
Oh my god, Aliens
[Shira]
Are they gonna stick that tube up his butt?
[Da Floozy]
Stop that right now aliens!
[Aliens]
*alien noises of protest*
[Da Floozy]
I don't care! You can not put things up people's bums without consent!
[Joki The Goblin]
Can we beat them up?
[Shira]
Oh yes let's beat them up I always wanted to battle aliens!
[Da Floozy]
Hang on gang, we gotta give them a chance to repent and grow!
[All]
N'awwww!
[Da Floozy]
How's about it aliens? Either you agree for a sittin' circle or my team here is gonna wipe the walls of this ship with ya!
[Aliens]
*alien noises of agreeing to a sittin' circle*
[Da Floozy]
They agreed!
[All]
N'awwwww crap goddamit
[Da Floozy]
Joki scat while we get the circle seated!
[Joki The Goblin]
*immaculate scatting skills*
[Da Floozy]
Cry, cry child
Cry, cry child
Cry, baby, cry
Cry, baby, cry
Cry, baby, cry on me
Cry, baby, cry
Cry, baby, cry
Cry, baby, cry on me
[Da Floozy]
Woah, we got another call comin' in!
[Galaxy The Witch]
Wow, busy day
[Shira]
Alright let's get 'em!
[Da Floozy]
Oh my god, it's a white supremacist ralley!
[White Supremacist]
Well lookey here, we got ourselves a bunch of CENSORED and CENSORED
[Shira]
Guess we gotta do a sittin' circle
[Galaxy The Witch]
Guess we gotta give em a chance to grow
[Da Floozy]
Ah screw that! Let's just kick their hineys!
[All]
Yeeeeeey!
[Joki The Goblin]
I love violence!
*awesome instrumental of the Hell Hags kicking ass*
[Da Floozy]
Buffy Rabbit you can't stick the entire flag up his- Oh, I guess you can!
[Galaxy The Witch]
Explosive diarrhea spell!
[Shira]
Kiss my sweet ass you nasty douchenozzle!
[Joki The Goblin]
I love violence!
*more awesome instrumental*
[All]
We're Helen's Hell Hags, we're ready to fight
We're Helen's Hell Hags, if you can't be nice
We're gonna take you and stick your tush down
Unpack your trauma till you're turned around
We're Helen's Hell Hags, coming for the bad guys
We're Helen's Hell Hags, cause it's therapy time
We're gonna make you unpack your trauma today
Acknowledge your emotions and send you on your way
[Da Floozy]
Good work gang! And to all of you out there - we love you! And you are valid! You gotta be good to others and that starts with self care! Examine your actions, forgive your younger self and take care of your mental and emotional health! Somewhere deep in there, there's a child who needs to have a good cry. It's okay to let it out!
[Da Floozy]
Cry, cry child
Cry, cry child
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry now, baby, cry on me
Cry, baby, cry
Cry, baby, cry
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry now, baby, cry on me
Oh whoa cry, baby, cry on me
Cry, baby, cry on me
Cry, baby, cry
Cry, baby, cry
Cry, baby, cry on me
Cry, cry child
Cry, cry child
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry now, baby, cry
Cry on me
