Tim Heidecker
For Chan
[Verse 1]
I am only one man but my words they travel miles
Up to satellites, down to wires going at the speed of light
In the darkness I type quickly and send messages like missiles
And they land without mercy because I know I'm right
With a glossary of buzzwords, I use them indiscreetly
Attach images to represent me, I choose cartoons and not my face
I'm the judge, I'm the jury, I command the conversation
For the betterment of our nation and the empowerment of our race

[Chorus]
And if they made a movie of me
They'd have to cast the fattest actor
With glycerine they'd splatter on my face
To grease me down, to grease me down, to grease me down

[Verse 2]
But sometimes I'm only kidding
And sometimes I get so mad
Sometimes I think I've made a big mistake
Committing to this life online
But I got this little family of like minded brothers
And we huddle undercover where being a jerk's just fine
I can't get away with murder
But I can ruin somebody's weekend
Take down their websites and call 'em all kinds of names
But I'm having trouble sleeping
I don't know where this is headed
But maybe it is just a phase I'll grow out of someday
[Chorus]
And if they made a movie of me
They'd have to cast the fattest actor
With glycerine they'd splatter on my face
To grease me down, to grease me down
To grease me down, to grease me down
To grease me down