Pt. 1:
[Verse 1]
I wake up in the morning and I kiss my wife
I go out to my shed and I sharpen my knife
Change the batteries in all my remote controls
Check all the levels in the toilet bowl

[Verse 2]
I play with my son all through the morn
I take a long nap and mow the lawn
Borrow the edger from my neighbor Dan
I'll get it back as soon as I can

[Outro]
This is the sound of the perfect day
That's a perfect day
It's a perfect dad day!

Pt. 2:
[Verse 1]
I clean out the gutters with a big, long broom
While I fantasize about a TV room
Where the kids and the wife can't bother me
I can watch adult films with some privacy

[Verse 2]
Don't have any kids and I don't have a wife
Still, I appreciate the amazing dad's life
So, tie my robe and I charge my tools
I measure the chlorine in my swimming pool
[Outro]
You need a wife in case you have kids
I don't have neither
So, sorry, I don't belong here