[Refrain]
"This is going to be the best Christmas ever!"

[Verse 1]
Everything this year's been a disaster
But I won't let it bother me at all
Nothing's going to bring me down
It's Christmas and I'm pleased as punch to stand my happy ground

[Verse 2]
Refuse to let my family make me crazy
I'm smiling at their insults and their frowns
Ignore the shitty weather, 'cause what counts is we're together
Loving, safe and sound

[Chorus 1]
Nothing's going to ruin my holiday
Not this time, you hear?
And If you try to ruin my holiday
I swear you will regret it for the rest of the fucking year

[Verse 3]
The turkey might have made the children vomit
The tree burned down and torched up all of our gifts
But I will grin and bear it, and this nightmare, we will share it
Till I get my only wish
[Chorus 2]
Nothing's going to ruin my holiday
No act of God or family fight
'Cause if you try to ruin my holiday
I swear you will regret it for the rest of your fucking life
You'll burn in hell with hot pokers in your eyes
And acid on your flesh

[Refrain]
"This is going to be the best Christmas ever."

[Verse 4]
Soon this crappy Christmas will be over
And I'll go right back to my pissed-off self
But until that happens, I will just continue laughing
Like one of those creepy retard mutant North Pole elves

[Chorus 3]
Nothing's going to ruin my holiday
Not this year, I won't let that be the case
And If you try and ruin my holiday
I'll punch you in your fat, disgusting, turkey-eating face, understand me?

[Refrain]
"This is going to be the best Christmas ever!"