She is born
Her mother's heartbeat
Her father's voice
The orange color inside her eyelids
Flowers cover everything
She discovers her hands and feet
She watches dust swirl in the strange light
Her mother's stories
Aware that her body is separate
She turns two

The sound of children playing outside
Wanting something she doesn't have
The feeling of being alone
The girl she wanted to be like
She imagines getting more attention
The sunlight on her skin
She turns four
Learning to read, learning to write
Her walk home
Her mother's laugh

Her parents argue about the same things
Her first friend
Conflict
Suddenly aware of energy all around her
The feeling of love
Her house felt big, small, scary, nice
The summer it was so hot, sweat dripping down her arm
Becoming aware of cruelty
The feeling of the rug on her body
Laughing
Watching women on television
Her father's work
She learns how to lie to her mother
To her friend
To her father
The story of her father's scar
The girl who made her feel dumb
The girl who was hit by the car
The air felt perfect on her skin
She is ten now
Could she run forever?
She wants to be a dancer
Waiting, eating, sleeping, listening
A new best friend

She feels different about her mother
Fantasizing about John Dettman
She wonders why her father is easier?
The man who talked her into the bathroom at the department store
Should her face be different?
She senses boys prefer to talk
The hum from the speakers
Her first period
Emily Dranso, her first kiss
The music sounded chaotic at first but then she liked it
Watching wars on television
Time in buildings time in cars
The first "I love you"
She wants to live somewhere else
Saying goodbye to her mother, going to college
She wonders if she is interesting
Learning about history
A new boyfriend
The building where she got an abortion
Arguing with her mother about getting married
She feels she's herself for the first time
She gets married
A new job
Feeling capable, she is good at work
Her husband is different than she thought
Sexual problems

Not understanding her feelings
She thinks about the body language of men
Another man
New best friend
She resents loving him as much as she does
The smell of the at night in her new town
A financial crisis
She is pregnant
Feeling big, small, scared, at ease
Her pregnancy creates more distance with her mother
She learns about funds, legs, feet
She feels like an imposter
A new job

The music that makes her think of the past
Surprised at how much others delude themselves
She wonders how much she deludes herself
Objects she thinks about, but doesn't know why
Finding out her mother died
New television shows
Were there more clouds when she was a child?
She worries her husband doesn't love her anymore
She worries she doesn't love her husband
Remembering her childhood in a more positive light
Calling her father on Sundays

She is more able to love her son than her husband
Realizing her son doesn't need her like he used to
Arguing with her husband about the same things
Her son's body is changing
Her father dies
Remembering his voice
She realizes she's always been afraid of nature

A new diet, an new understanding of health
She feels closer to her husband
She remembers a story
Arguing with her husband about the same things
Her son leaves home
She often thinks of when her son was younger
A friend who cannot be helped
Her son gets married

No one talked to her about menopause
Jean Pullman, one afternoon
A sudden new feeling about music
A crisis, people act like nothing happened, but nothing is the same
They travel
She notices she is changing
She promised her husband he'd die at home
Places in her mind
The sound of children playing outside
She is a grandmother
Feeling big, small, scared, at ease
A new best friend

Talking to her son on Sundays
She wonders how she became this person, not others
She begins to write
She dreams of her mother dancing
An unexpected illness
Her son's hands