The grub was vile, we couldn't crack a smile
WE PAID TWENTY SMACKERS JUST TO SAIL UP THE NILE
It cos ten quid..
TO GET STUCK INSIDE A PPPPPYRAMID

I'd rather be in Hawaii, CLEETHORPES OR SOUTHEND
You won't catch us on the Egypt bus again again again

(Chorus:)
The... Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
THEY DO NOT CARE ON EGYPT AIR
Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
IN CAI I I I RO
The Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
YOU WILL GET RIPPED OFF IN EGYPT OH!

The hotel room filled us with gloom
WE SHOULD O' SPENT THE NIGHT IN A MUMMY'S TOMB
A camel ride...
ANOTHER TEN SMACKERS AND A NUMB BACKSIDE

I'd rather be...

(Chorus)...
(Guitar Bit)...

(Chorus)