[Chorus: Humphrey]
Oh tell me why play rock 'n' roll?

[Verse 1: Ron]
Why play rock 'n' roll?
It's a question fundamental
Take Jimbo from The Doors
You'll find which one's incidental
Take the music from the industry
You're left with grasping bankers
Take the industry out of music
You're left with childish wankers

[Verse 2: Ron]
"If I weren't me", Prince might ask
"Would women still adore me?
How come no-one's come up and said
'Your movies fucking bore me'?"
"The priest dances on the seventh day
Watching the temple fall"
Now if Dylan didn't write that line
Would it still mean nothing at all?

[Chorus: Humphrey]
Play rock 'n' roll
Why play rock 'n' roll?
Why play rock 'n' roll?
Play rock 'n' roll
Why play rock 'n' roll?
Why play rock 'n' roll?
[Bridge: Humphrey]
Oh can we know?
Oh can we know, can we know?
Oh can we know?
Oh can we know, can we know?

[Verse 3: Ron]
Can we know the dancer from the dance?
Separate thinker from the thoughts?
The song about breaking out of jail
From the singer's dick breaking out in warts?
What if today your band gets acclaim
From the critically judgmental?
Twenty years ago they said much the same
About a John McLaughlin instrumental

[Chorus: Humphrey]
Why play rock 'n' roll?
Why play rock 'n' roll?
Why play rock 'n' roll?
Why play rock 'n' roll?
Why play rock 'n' roll?

[Verse 4: Ron & Humphrey]
Rock is for morons, the deaf and the stupid
Polysyllabic words never suited
Every band in rock 'n' roll
Claims to be doing it for the art
Feel confronting, critics approve it
Use disco to go-gos, get Eno to produce it
At least that's what their managers say
When the band themselves ain't all that smart
Jesus Pots The White Ball, heard their new album?
They're all tuneless Pommies, that's sure to sell them
Sounds really noble and all
But it's an excuse just for pricks
Rock is for morons, thank God that that's so
Knuckle the artists with Rod Grinter's elbow
We agree with G. W. McLennan
He plays rock 'n' roll for the chicks
[Bridge: Humphrey]
Rock is for morons, thank god that that's so
Knuckle the artists with Rod Grinter's elbow
Rock is for morons, thank god that that's so
Knuckle the artists with Rod Grinter's elbow (elbow!)

[Chorus: Humphrey]
Oh tell me why play rock 'n' roll?
Oh tell me why, why, why, why, why play rock 'n' roll?