[Chorus]
Real TV
Real TV
Real TV
Real TV makes us all arseholes

[Verse 1]
The people who make it
How do they live?
The producer's a jackal
The director's a spiv
And PR, they're liars
The sound guy is a slime
The hostess is a bimbo
With a petulant whine

[Chorus]
Real TV
Real TV
Real TV
Real TV makes us all arseholes

[Verse 2]
The people who're on it
What could they have heard?
One day you're unknown
The next you're a turd
You can't return fame
And get your money back
Imagine going on TV
To find what you lack
[Bridge]
The people who watch it
Are arseholes and creeps
Watching other arseholes
The cycle's complete
You think reality's crap?
I disagree
Crap isn't crap
'Til it's on TV

[Chorus]
Real TV (You are on Channel Turd)
Real TV (You are on Channel Turd)
Real TV (You are on Channel Turd)
Real TV (You are on Channel Turd)
Real TV (You are on Channel Turd)
Real TV (You are on Channel Turd)
Real TV makes us all arseholes