[Verse 1]
If I were Britney's boyfriend, I'd be playing hard to get
She'd come around begging for me, but I'd say, "No, no, not yet
'Cause God has told me personally that I should remain pure
Just love me, baby, for myself", and more of that manure

[Chorus]
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney Spear

[Verse 2]
Britney would go off her tree at my refusal
"I'm Britney freaking Spears, rejection's not that usual"
"I love you, darling, for yourself," I'd explain to little Miss
"It's your personality I like, not your body, serious"

[Chorus]
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney Spear

[Bridge]
As far as a coy mistress goes, you'll like it more than she
When upon her curt refusal, you whole-heartedly agree
Girls justly hate the lecher man with sweating, hairy paw
But what happens when boy says no? They hate that even more
[Verse 3]
"Just like I told J-Lo," I'd say, "It's not your fame and wealth
It's not your perfect bod and face, it's you I want, yourself
Jesus wouldn't like us to, if he ever knew it"
"Stuff him," I'm sure she'd say, "Come on, babe, let's do it"

[Chorus]
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney
Thou shalt not Britney Spear