Somalia has got the hunger
Yugoslavia's battle will always rage
Germany's got a guilty conscience
And Magic Johnson, he's got AIDS
But in the global battle for misery
You know, we all win it
'Cause we're all Victorians
And we've got Jeffrey Kennett

Stalin, he fucked communism
Germany and Hitler fucked the Yids
We all fuck the ozone layer
Woody Allen, he fucks the kids
Some people, they fuck animals
But if you're kinky, why wait?
Come on down to Victoria
See one man fuck a state

Queensland used to be the national joke
And Adelaide was full of S&M botty-spankers
Perth was full of cricket crooked businessmen
And Sydney, still full of wankers
Tasmanians... I've never met any
You know, but the whole nation knows that
We all voted in Jeffrey Kennett
That makes every Victorian a prat
You know, the West and South Australians were right
They've known for years that Vics were pricks
And now the whole nation can agree
Come on, kick a Vic, kick a Vic, kick me
I'm one, come on, kick each other
But, you know, don't forget
That when we're kicking each other to death
There's one man that deserves it more than the rest
And his first name is Jeff