[Verse 1]
I might be a rock star, but I'll never be a critic
I might like porno, but Baywatch is fucking sick
I might have screwed your sister, but I'll never screw your mum
I might have gone to uni, but at least I know I'm dumb

[Verse 2]
I might hide my small penis, but at least not by owning a gun
I might not be homosexual, but I've slept with a guy who's one
I might agree with Jesus, but I've got no religious belief
At least I clean the drops up when I piss on the toilet seat

[Chorus]
I might be a cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)
Woah-oh
I might be a cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)
But I'm not a fucking cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)

[Post-Chorus]
–Nique, –nique, –nique, Dominique, –nique, –nique
Dominique, –nique, –nique, Domi–, Domi–
Dominique, –nique, –nique, Dominique, –nique, –nique
Dominique, –nique, –nique, Dominique, –nique, –nique
Dominique, –nique, –nique, Dominique, –nique, –nique
Dominique, –nique, –nique, Dominique, –nique, –nique
[Verse 3]
I might barrack for Port Power, but never for the Crows
I might watch A Current Affair, but I watch Frontline also
I might like Tarantino, but sometimes you gotta wonder
I mightn't tell the truth all the time
Hey, what's your mum's number?

[Chorus]
I might be a cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)
Woah-oh
I might be a cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)
But I'm not a fucking cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)
But I'm not a fucking cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)
But I'm not a fucking cunt (–Nique, –nique, –nique, –nique)