[Intro]
Look around-round, look around-round, look around
Look around-round, look around-round, look-a, look-a
Look around-round, look around-round, look around
Look around-round, look around-round, look-a, look-a

[Verse 1]
You're only one fad away from being retro
You're only one drug away from liking techno
You're only one glasses of pair from dyslexia
You're only one Cleo mag from anorexia

[Chorus]
You're only five yards from a fuckwit
You're only five yards from a fuckwit

[Verse 2]
You're only one download from this song's copyright
You're only one Tim Tam away from cellulite
You're only one phone call from captaining the Aussie side
You're only one lifestyle show from suicide
You're only one station from John Laws' shit
You're only one lobotomy from believing it
(Look around, look around)

[Chorus]
You're only five yards from a fuckwit
You're only five yards from a fuckwit
You're only five yards from a fuckwit
[Bridge]
You're only one tabloid press from a lynch mob
You're only one acting role from a real job
You're only one strip of flesh from your bones
You're only one species away from Alan Jones
You're only one small speck in space
You're only one life, soon erased
Be there none left on Earth but you
One thing will still remain true

[Chorus]
You're only five yards from a fuckwit
You're only five yards from a fuckwit
You're only five yards from a fuckwit