[Verse 1]
Life is like cum, you gag but you swallow
When it goes down your windpipe and comes out tomorrow
Never forget that you'll never remember
My name once you take your lips off my member

[Chorus]
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships

[Verse 2]
Remember the days when you were a lad
Trying to root the arse off your mum or blow the fuck out of dad?
Or, if you're a lassie, that part of you achin'
The man who kissed Mum and brought home the bacon

[Chorus]
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships

[Verse 3]
What happens now? We're as naked as babies
All over each other like VD or rabies
In each others' jockettes long may we wallow
Life is like cum, you gag but you swallow
[Chorus]
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships
Mumma's in the kitchen, cooking fish and chips
Daddy's in the toilet, bombing battleships

[Outro]
Well, the fascinating witches put the scintillating stitches
In the britches of the boys who put the powder on the noses
Of the faces of the ladies of the harem of the court
Of King Caractacus were just passing by
All together now