[Chorus: Humphrey]
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix

[Verse 1: Ron]
I saw his body thrashing 'round
I saw his pulse rate going down
I saw him in convulsive throes
I said, "I'll have one of those"

[Verse 2: Humphrey]
Hillary had, Hillary had
Hillary had it in his veins
Hillary had, Hillary had
Hillary had it in his veins

[Verse 3: Ron]
Hillary had Everest in his veins
Armstrong did moon, was not the same
Heroes explore to give us hope
River pushed back the envelope

[Verse 4: Humphrey]
Drank the slab, drank the slab
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
Drank the slab, drank the slab
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
[Verse 5: Ron]
I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
I injected some of Hendrix's junk
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane
Mama Cass's sandwich? I ate the same

[Verse 6: Humphrey]
Now I'm bored, now I'm bored
Now I'm bored, there's no stopping
Now I'm bored, now I'm bored
Now I'm bored, there's no stopping

[Verse 7: Ron]
Now I'm bored and there's no stopping
I need another celeb to fill a coffin
Where'll I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson

[Chorus: Humphrey]
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
Drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug