Kate – Fischer Of Men

[Verse]
I know he owns a paper, Kate
But I buy one every day
It's not that he's rich and successful
That you love him, so you say
Which makes me feel so much better, Kate
'Cause I'm not any of those
And just like him, that's got nothing to do
With my abilities, God, no
As it is, I'm still renting
And the place can get a little drab
But at least you know in two decades' time
I won't look like his dad
There's a tall poppy syndrome, Kate
That is ready to attack
Come with me and I'll guarantee
You won't get any of that flack
There's sneering, two-bit, disaffected
Maladjusted types
Ready with their oh-so-moral
High ground, jeering hype
Condemning you just because
You are who you are
I'd drive around now and rescue you
'Cept the diff's gone on my car
It's not too late to give him the 'a'
And come with me to Airport West
We've got a brand new shopping mall
With an eight-cinema multiplex
There's a half-tube skateboard ramp
And the waterslide's the best
Down Airport East, they say we're snobs
But I know you'll be impressed
In Airport East they ain't got much
So all they do is slag
Just like the people whose weddings
Don't make the women's mags
I'm interested in wogball
And I really like Acca Dacca
And I'm better than him 'cause I'm a storeman
As well as being a packer
Course, I'm a bit short of cash right now
And before rumours get about
Anyone says I like you for your dough
I'll snap the bastard out
If I marry you, I'll be famous, Kate
But they won't take my privacy
Enough about me, what about you?
What do you think of me?
I'll just assume it's a done deal, then
And get on with the rest
Like finalising photo rights
And which tabloid offers the best
Give it a break, Kate
You can't complain if we make a buck
Our marriage could set up us for life
With a little bit of luck
I could be rich and famous, Kate
Just you mark my words
Why marry some unknown jerk
From the outer suburbs?