[Verse 1: Rob Scallon/Superman, The Nostalgia Critic/Batman]
I lost my parents in childhood
Grew up a loner no one understood
And spent years brooding as an aimless drifter
But through the inspiring words of my father
I'll become a symbol, an icon
A savior to restore hope to those who have none
Uh, you mean like Batman?
I traveled the world as a bearded outcast to discover who I am
Been there, done that
My friends only speak to me in exposition and speeches of how important and unique I am
Been there, done that
If you ask my life story, I would tell it to you out of order and disjointed
Been there, done that
I often have flashbacks out of nowhere about how important my destiny is
Been there, done that
I wear a dark, tight costume
Ditto
With a long flowing cape, too
I think we shop at the same store
I have a wise father figure who isn’t my father at all
Suck my balls

[Chorus: Rob Scallon/Superman, The Nostalgia Critic/Batman]
I'm Superman
I'm the freakin' man of steal
No one can do what I can
I am the real deal
I'm the most unique superhero that this world's ever seen
Except for me
[Verse 1: Rob Scallon/Superman, The Nostalgia Critic/Batman]
I’m mentally depressed and psychologically tortured
Not special
I’ve stared into the vast empty void and have come out scarred yet responsibly stronger
Same
I reflect when I'm in my giant, dark, empty fortress
Sounds familiar
I want to save people, but under my protection the civilian death toll has tripled
Oops
I'm an awkward nerd
No, you're not, you're an emo hunk every woman wants to sleep with
Okay, you're right about that
Over here
I have a bland but independent girlfriend who I still have to save most the time
You mean like mine!?
Listen up, twerp
You can't be who I am
You're a speedy pretty boy, I'm the friggin' Batman
The dark brooding loner is my thing, ya see?
And Zack Snyder sure ain't gonna to take that from me

[Chorus: The Nostalgia Critic/Batman, Rob Scallon/Superman]
I am Batman
Better than the man of steel
You should know who I am
I'm the OG real deal
I'm the most unique super hero that this worlds has ever seen
So don't steal my thing
No, I'm Superman
(Batman)
I'm the freakin' man of steel
I do whatever I can, way more than the Batman will
To save the day, I'll do whatever I can
I've even killed a man
[Outro: The Nostalgia Critic/Batman, Rob Scallon/Superman]
Jesus, guy!
What? He was gonna- He was gonna kill some random people I didn’t know
Dude, I didn’t even kill the insane clown who murdered my girlfriend
Oh
You’re sick
No… I’m SUPERMAN!