[THOMAS:]
I'll cut out carbs to lose some weight

[LOGAN:]
That's a lie

[THOMAS:]
I won't go to bed so late

[PATTON:]
LIE!

[THOMAS:]
I won't be so shy to date

[LOGAN:]
Lie

[THOMAS:]
I won't do so much riffing

[ROMAN [riffing]:]
Lie!

[THOMAS:]
I'll go to the gym and get real strong
[PATTON:]
Lie

[THOMAS:]
All my work I won't prolong

[LOGAN:]
Hah! Lie

[THOMAS:]
I'll stick to goals the whole year-long

[PATTON:]
Another lie!

[THOMAS:]
I won't sing so many Disney songs

[ROMAN:]
You're kidding, right?

[VIRGIL:]
Let's face the facts and come to terms, it's time to realize
These goals are only merely hope we quickly leave behind
They're lies, lies, lies, lies, lies!
[spoken]
Give it up. Resolutions are nothing more than empty promises to yourself. You shouldn't even try

[THOMAS [spoken]:]
Okay, maybe thinking big like that is not the way to go, but resolutions don't have to be big. They can be reasonable

[THOMAS:]
I could cook a meal or four

[PATTON:]
True...

[THOMAS:]
Keep my clothes neater in my drawer

[ROMAN:]
True

[THOMAS:]
Improve my credit score

[LOGAN:]
So true

[THOMAS:]
Tell my loved ones that I love them more
[PATTON:]
That's cute!

[THOMAS:]
There's a book I've meant to read

[LOGAN:]
True!

[THOMAS:]
Do my best to do good deeds

[PATTON:]
(Gasp) True!

[THOMAS:]
Take the time for me I need

[ROMAN:]
Too true!

[THOMAS:]
Follow less and take a lead!

[VIRGIL:]
Don't kid yourself
You know your year can't be that sublime

[THOMAS:]
You may be right, but I'll prove you wrong
We'll both find out in time if they're
Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies!

They could be
Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies!
I won't let 'em be
Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies!
I'm doing fine