[Verse 1]
Well, she's very wealthy, it's true
So in that, she is one up on you
She's dressed all in red, white and blue
And she always knows more than you do

[Chorus]
She's so affected
Cool, calm, collected

[Verse 2]
She knows who to smile to today
She has just been brought up in that way
She knows all the right games to play
And she always just knows what to say

[Chorus]
She's well-respected
Cool, calm, collected

[Kazoo solo]

[Chorus]
She's so affected
Cool, calm, collected
[Verse 3]
In public, the strain's hard to bear
She exudes such a confident air
But behind, she is not without care
But she sweeps it right under her hair

[Chorus]
She's well-respected
Cool, calm, collected

[Verse 4]
She seems to glow brilliantly white
And her hair seems to shine in the night
With her feet unbelievably light
And her teeth ready, sharpened to bite

[Chorus]
She's so respected
Cool, calm, collected

[Instrumental Outro]