[Spoken]
Attention!
The Santa barber film festival
Screening local films, is sold out!

Booo!
No way!
Boo!

The theatre is full
If you do not have a platinum pass, please move along

I can’t even afford a platinum pass
Man, you hardly let anybody in!

I repeat: If you do not have a platinum pass, you will not be getting into the theatre

I came here from Beale man
I have been here for hours! Sir
Who made you in charge that’s what I wanna know

I got a megaphone
Put it in your face
I got a megaphone
Cause I run the place
You’re standing in the street
And in the street, cause you got no seat!
I’m the director’s girlfriend!
And, you ain’t getting in!
I’m the actor! I’m the star!
Sign an autograph on the way to your car!
I’m from Goleta man I’m ticked!
Back to you’re trailer you dumbass hick!
I don’t like the way we’re being treated!
Let me repeat!
You got no seat!

It’s a megaphone
And it’s super loud!
It’s a megaphone
And it bursts the crowd
It’s a megaphone
You’re not getting past
No platinum pass
You can kiss my ass!

I got a ticket, it costs 10 bucks!
No luck, go back to your truck!
My son’s the director, I came from out of state!
Your parent’s should’ve bought you a laminate!
It was 4 o' clock when I got here
Thank you, come again next year
I’m friend’s with Rodger, me and I are down
You and every fool in town!
It’s a megpahone
You didn’t make the cut
It’s a megpahone
Put it up your butt
It’s a megaphone
You don’t stand a chance
Now watch me dance in my khaki pants!

Ding dang a dang a dang ding a dang!
Ding dang a dang a dang ding a dang!
Dang dang a dang a dong ding a dong!
Wong dong a dang dang dingle dang!
Dang dang gang dangly dang dang!
A wong dong a dang dang diddly ding dang !

Hey there ladies in the candy stand!
Megaphone, megaphone!
He’s so grand!
Want a fizzy sance and some ice?
I’m too busy shooting at these fools in line!

Megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!