Got a letter through the post that says I don't exist
Apparently the new computer thinks I won't be missed
We need more facts, perhaps you would find out and forward them
There's no proof or trace or date or place or where or when
Central Information's got no news today (no news today)
Is there a change in my position?
No decision, no decision

All I ever get is a definite maybe

Head office thinks I'm dead
But I'm not even ill
How do I get attention
Tell me who I have to kill
Is there a change in my condition?
Not today
The answer comes with repetition
No decision, no decision

'Round and 'round the circle goes
Stood in line but the counter was closed
And when I ask who is responsible
Nobody knows, "Try one of those."

All I want is a yes or a no
(All he wants is a yes or a no)
But all I ever get is a definite maybe
Tried to make my life a misery
But they don't want to know
They don't want to know
They don't want to know
And all I ever get is a definite maybe
No decision, no decision

Surely there must be a way to open all the doors
And wade through all the petty bureaucratic little laws
Frustration everywhere I turn, I just get more and more
Everyone's got problems and they've heard all mine before

Oh, I'm tired of making endless calls
(Somebody help this poor man)
Banging my head against the wall
I walk along an endless corridor
Then I knock on the door, then I realize
That I've been there before
No one here can hear my case
So all I ever get is a definite maybe
When they say, "no news today, get back in the queue,"
What can I do? What can I do? What can I do?
No decision, no decision
No decision
All I ever get (no decision) is a definite maybe (no decision)