[Intro: Akiva Schaffer]
Lonely Island
We been in it for a minute now
This some grown man shit

[Chorus: Akiva Schaffer]
I got that diaper money
I got that diaper money, dude
I got that diaper money
I’m a grown-ass man

[Verse 1: Akiva Schaffer]
Ayo, I got that diaper money
'Cause my kids need to shit
So I stay on my hustle
To keep my pocketbook thick
I got papers and papers and papes
All for my baby’s mistakes
Just so my carpets and drapes
Don’t get shit on ‘em

[Chorus: Akiva Schaffer]
I got that diaper money
I got that diaper money, dude
I got that diaper money
I’m a grown-ass man
[Chorus 2: Jorma Taccone]
J-Orgus
I got that wife pussy
I got that wife pussy
I got that wife pussy
I got that pussy on lock

[Verse 2: Jorma Taccone]
I got that wife pussy on lock, 24-7
Whenever she lets me, I’m in same-pussy heaven
And the best part about it
Is no one else can have it
And also I can’t have it
Unless she says I can
I see a girl on the street
And I can’t, so I won’t
See my wife at home and I would
But she hates my guts

[Chorus 2: Jorma Taccone]
Wife pussy
I got that wife pussy
I got that wife pussy
I got that pussy on lock

[Chorus 3: Andy Samberg]
Young Sandwich
I got that grave plot
I got that grave plot
I got that grave plot
It’s right off the highway
[Verse 3: Andy Samberg]
Wobble-dee-wobble-dee-drop
Into my grave plot
You afraid of death
Well I’m afraid not
'Cause I got the bomb spot
Right off the highway
I did it my way
A very small percent of the time-way
I got my coffin picked out
Styrofoam painted like wood, tricked out
It’s even got handles to lower me smooth
And my tombstone only has minimal typos

[Chorus 3: Andy Samberg]
Grave plot
I got that grave plot
I got that grave plot
Right next to my dad

[Outro: Akiva, Jorma, Andy & All]
I got that diaper money
I got that wife pussy
I got that grave plot
I’m a grown ass man!