[Intro: Andy Samberg]
Stork patrol, we're patrolling
Stork patrol, he's rolling
Stork patrol with my storkies
Stork patrol

[Verse 1: Akiva Schaffer, Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone & Chester Tam]
Yo, what up fine-feathered stork? Peace, you're lovely
Hollow legs, long beak, feathers so cuddly
Yo I want to step to ya stork but I don't know how
Your style's mad intimidating, makes me go wild
Get you open like those webbed toes, you know I spread those
Scrawny bird legs past the head when I bed those
Stanky seed stork steady salty in your seed sack
How about this barnacle, bird? you know I need that
Your feathers shiny, nasty plumage
Let me probe your inner sanctum, I love you doin' it
With your storking ass, beautiful Marabou
Plenty of birdseed for you, incubators too
What up, Mara-bou-bou? Don't I recognize you?
National Geographic cover '92
Turn around your backyard I can barely speak
Oops, there go my kids all over your beak

[Chorus: Jorma Taccome & Akiva Schaffer]
Callin' all storks, we're on a stork patrol
We have an APB out for three storks heading...
Chicks fly the coop when you pull up to them birds
She's a beautiful specimen (The stork)
A beautiful specimen
[Verse 2: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone & Akiva Schaffer]
Hey yo peep it, I know you love Victoria's Egret
Garter belts all in your claws on some freak ish
I love you like my wingspan, everything's grand
Knock it airborne make you pray to god to bring land
Never worry about what your friends say, they're just pelicans
Swallowing the minnows of this other species' gentlemen
Thirty days, thirty nights on my eggs you sitted
'Cause you've always been committed till the day I was acquitted
Lovely, eatin' baby crocodiles and insects
Let me be your park ranger and your sanctuary pretect
Ooh, I want to ruffle you up, suck on your beak
Freak nasty-ish, make you stand on one feet
Yo, my eyes are red and my voice is trembling
Please don't leave me, stork; these days I need you till the end
When the cops came, you held my stash in your beak
God damn, nasty freak

[Outro: Akiva Schaffer]
Alright listen up stork
We, human men, have got you surrounded
Now come outside and marry one of us