[Intro: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
Nowadays, everybody's using curse words
Seems to me like it ain't necessary
Yeah, so when I get steamed... (Huh!)
Yo, I tell 'em like this:

[Chorus: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
I don't give a honk, I don't give a honk
And if you think I do, my friend, then you're wronk
Your crocodile tears can go and got gone-k
You faking the fonk, but we don't give a honk

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
I'm a wild child and I'm on the loose
Giving less of a honk than a muzzled goose
Or a broken car horn and its honk was fake
Man if I was Senator, it'd be a honkless state
Yo, I drove past a rally saying "Honk for Peace"
So I took out my gun and shot 'em all in the knees
I don't give a honk! You picked the wrong dude
If a honk was my virginity, consider me prude
I consider it rude to have honk-spectations
Only thing I give a honk is a long vacation
On a long space station, can't hear you scream
And they sure can't hear you honk, yadada mean?
[Chorus: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
Yo we told you before: we don't give a honk
And saying that we do is just simpoly ridonk
You could try to buy us off with your pesos and francs
But your money means nothing, you can take it to the bonk

[Verse 2: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
Man, I'm stingy when it comes to my honks! Me too!
I literally stick 'em to my body with glue
Good thinkin', Abe Lincoln, you a real smart cookie
Teach a class about giving a honk? I'm playing hooky
Now what you gonna do with all your honks?
Gonna dive in and swim like Scrooge McDonk
'Cause for a honk, I'd bite a chunk out a Buddhist monk
And at his funeral? Everyone will sing this songk

[Chorus: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
Yo, we told you before: we don't give a honk
Got a theory that we do? Well, your theory's de-bonked
Save the drama for your mama cause your -itis is bronch-
Our policy is staunch: we don't give a honk

[Verse 3: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
You know, a honk in some countries is considered a food
And if you don't eat it all, it's considered quite rude
We all know we're born with 100 honks
But people throw 'em away like they were Donkey Konks
And the honks are the barrels, the kings and the pharaohs
They sing about honks like they were Christmas carols
I'll punch you in the jeans, but this ain't Lonely Island
And if I catch you stealing my honks, I'll get violent
[Chorus: Andy Samberg & Jorma Taccone]
Yo we told you before: we don't give a honk
Even if you give us candy like Willy the Wonk
But don't come for my honks, better know your place
Mother-honkers honk around and get honked in the face

[Outro: Jon Hamm sample]
This the not honking around crew
And this not honking around thing is about to go both ways