[Intro: Seth Rogen & Andy Samberg]
Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review
No problem
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely. I'm the boss
Okay. So take us through a day in the life of "the boss"
Well the first thing I do is...

[Verse: Andy Samberg]
Talk to corporate (Like a boss)
Approve memos (Like a boss)
Lead a workshop (Like a boss)
Remember birthdays (Like a boss)
Direct workflow (Like a boss)
My own bathroom (Like a boss)
Micromanage (Like a boss)
Promote synergy (Like a boss)
Hit on Debra (Like a boss)
Get rejected (Like a boss)
Swallow sadness (Like a boss)
Send some faxes (Like a boss)
Call a sex line (Like a boss)
Cry deeply (Like a boss)
Demand a refund (Like a boss)
Eat a bagel (Like a boss)
Harassment lawsuit (Like a boss)
No promotion (Like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (Like a boss)
Shit on Debra's desk (Like a boss)
Buy a gun (Like a boss)
In my mouth (Like a boss)
Oh fuck, man, I can't fucking do it, shit!
Pussy out (Like a boss)
Puke on Debra's desk (Like a boss)
Jump out the window (Like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (Like a boss)
Score some coke (Like a boss)
Crash my car (Like a boss)
Suck my own dick (Like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (Like a boss)
Chop my balls off (Like a boss)
Blackout in the sewer (Like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (Like a boss)
Fuck its brains out (Like a boss)
Turn into a jet (Like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (Like a boss)
Crash into the sun (Like a boss)
Now I'm dead (Like a boss)
[Outro: Seth Rogen & Andy Samberg]
Uh-huh. So, that's an average day for you then?
No doubt
You chop your balls off and die?
Hell yeah
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
Nope
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did
Nah, that ain't me
Okay, well. This has been eye-opening for me
I'm the boss
Yeah no, I got that, you said it about 400 times
I'm the boss
Yeah yeah, I got it
I'm the boss
Okay, great. I heard you. Bye
Like a boss!