[Verse 1: Andy Samberg]
Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money where the poor get snubbed
The spread is bland, sauerkraut and boiled goose
There's no way these people will ever cut loose
But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
And what happened next will blow your mind

[Chorus: Julian Casablancas]
Everything got out of control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old white people dancing

[Verse 2: Andy Samberg]
Now, picture if you will a bunch of businessmen
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
The ties around their necks are like a hangman's noose
In the middle of the table, there's a boiled goose
The old people smell makes you want to puke in the sink
These dudes'll never dance, yeah, that's what you think
I stride in the room all young and hip
Hold up my boombox and say, "Listen to this!"

[Chorus: Julian Casablancas]
Then everyone started to move
People rejoiced instead of financing
Your preconceived notions were shattered
By the super old white people dancing
[Verse 3: Andy Samberg]
The Big Apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops or the dealers, who's got the juice?
The street vendors peddling their boiled goose
So many types of people, they'll never get along
'Til I bust out my boombox and play this song

[Chorus: Julian Casablancas]
The music washed away all the hate
And society started advancing
Every demographic was represented
It was a rainbow coalition of dancing

[Bridge: Julian Casablancas]
Woah, everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
Woah, I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman

[Verse 4: Andy Samberg]
Transport now to an old folks home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing, there's no excuse
Every day for lunch they eat boiled goose
So I grabbed my boombox and hit the turbo bass
And what happened next was a total disgrace
[Chorus: Julian Casablancas]
Everybody started having sex
The music was way too powerful
A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits
It was disgusting to say the least, oh

[Outro: Julian Casablancas]
A boombox can change the world
You gotta know your limits with a boombox
This was a cautionary tale
A boombox is not a toy