[Intro: Andy]
(Is anybody out there? Help me!)
Reach for the stars!
Woah, yeah

[Verse 1: Andy]
You stand on a distant planet
Skyline of red plateaus
Strange air and vegetation
You're a winner!
Welcome to the Space Olympics
The year 3022
Take part in a grand tradition
Your name echoes in the halls of the universe!

[Chorus 1: Andy]
Oh! Yeah yeah
Believe in yourself
Take your game into outer space

[Verse 2: Andy]
Every single galactic athlete
Needs a coded ID badge
Drug tests are mandatory
You're a winner!
The Athlete's Village is on Zargon
You all get a junior suite
We don't cover incidentals
So keep your ass out the minibar!
[Chorus 2: Andy]
You're the best in the world!
Brace yourself cause there's no gravity
You're in the motherfuckin' Space Olympics! Yeah

[Verse 3: Andy]
Let it be known by every nation
You'll only get one meal a day
There was a bit of a budget snafu
And food funding is insufficient!
We can't really enforce a curfew
As there is no light or sound
Just one of the many problems
With hosting a sporting event in space

[Bridge]
(Attention all athletes, there are minor scheduling adjustments)
Space Disc! Is totally canceled
Space Swords! Is totally canceled
Space Luge! Is also canceled
And all other events are pending!

[Verse 4: Andy]
Welcome to your Space Olympics
All the oxygen has run out
And someone who will not be named
Accidentally hit self-destruct
As you file to your escape pods
I'll distract the alien hordes
(You're in the motherfuckin' space olympics)
And as I stare death in the face
I know my sins will take me to hell
[Outro: Andy]
You do it for the love, my love
And there ain't no woman that could take your spot my love