[Intro: Jorma and Akiva]
Hello?
Hi, do you want to go to a party with me?
No - the game's on
Oh, I almost forgot, I'll be right there

[Chorus: Jorma and Akiva]
We like sports and we don't care who knows
From shooting hoops, to the Super Bowl
We like sports and we don't care who knows
Football, football, football, tennis, hockey, golf

[Verse 1: Jorma and Akiva]
The game is starting, everyone is here
I got my snacks, my friends, and a beer
Just two normal guys hanging out having fun
Right guy number two? Yeah, guy number one
E to the S to the P to the N
Is all I watch 'cause I'm the man
If my team loses I'll be mean all night
If you tell me to relax we'll get in a fight
Watching sports with girls is a pain
They don't know the rules, there's no time to explain
Single, double, triple, homerun
For the celebration, I'll shoot my gun
I like my friend, he's a real guy's guy
He's not a loudmouth like that cunthole Steve
[Chorus: Jorma and Akiva]
We like sports and we don't care who knows
From Wimbledon to the Astrodome
We like sports and we don't care who knows
Football, football, football, tennis, hockey, golf

[Bridge: Jorma and Akiva]
Now when I say "Sports", you say "Nuts"
Sports, nuts, sports, nuts
When I say "Cheating", you say "Sucks"
Cheating, sucks, cheating, sucks

[Verse 2: Jorma and Akiva]
I drink whiskey 'cause I like the taste
You think it's bitter but I think it's great
I also drink whiskey and we smoke cigars
Don't believe me? Smell our cars
We're real men and we like sports
If you say we're not then we'll see you in court
I'm team captain and I choose you
I'm the other team captain and I choose you too
We steal the ball and we're off to the races
Then scare the other team with our mad dog faces
Like what, what, what, what, what, what
What, what, what, what, what, what
[Chorus: Jorma and Akiva]
We like sports and we don't care who knows
From the pre-game jokes to the wrap-up show
We like sports and we don't care who knows
Football, football, football, tennis, hockey, golf

[Outro: Jorma and Akiva]
Throw me the baseball
Now toss me the pigskin
Now feed me the rock
Now give me the rock