[Intro: Akiva Schaffer]
Well, "The Bash" started with myself and José Canseco
Uh, we were matching forearms one day in the clubhouse
And, uh, we decided instead of giving a high five we would bash our forearms together

[Chorus: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer]
Let's bash (Let’s bash)
Let's bash (Let's bash)
Let’s bash (Let's bash)
Let's bash on they ass
Let's bash (Let's bash)
Let's bash (Let's bash)
Let's bash (Let’s bash)
Let’s bash on they ass

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg & Akiva Schaffer]
Uh, just hit a three run ho-ho
But if you wanna high five that's a no-no
I’m heading home, all my homies at home plate
Are waiting on me, so you know I gotta do something great
And that's when the arms go up
Like we about to drink from a cup
'Cause we a bunch of buff dudes just flexin'
Acknowledging our feats via human connection

[Chorus: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer]
Let’s bash (Let's bash), let's monster bash
Hit a tater out the stadi-er for monster cash
Hit a dinger through the fuckin' VIP suite glass
Break your fuckin' arm in half and then sign the cast
[Interlude: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone]
Get well soon
Love, José
Sorry about your arm, Walt Weiss
It happens

[Verse 2: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer]
When we in Kansas city, we walk out in the parking lot
Then yell, "Fuck the Royals," start swinging and popping off
We beat up their fans 'til the cops say to knock it off
Down half a creatine shake and to top it off
The next day on the bus, got hit with the roid rage
But I played it off
Said I was irritated 'cause of my bootyhole rash
No pain, no gain, motherfucker

[Chorus: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer]
Let's bash (Let's bash)
Let's bash (Let's bash)
Let's bash (Let's bash)
Let's bash on they ass

[Refrain: Akiva Schaffer]
I left my steroids in El Sobrante
Left my steroids in El Sobrante
Left my steroids in El Sobrante
I got to get 'em, I got-got to get 'em
[Verse 3: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer]
I might be an Athletic but I'm built like a giant
And I'm wearing white socks like an angel that's flyin'
Met a blue jay that's fucking an oriole
You're royally screwed like a marlin, exposed to the oil
That a pirate or a mariner spilled out his tanker
That's a cardinal sin, padre
Man, tell it to the ranger
You feel brave, little cub-cub? Try to sock me
But when I'm seeing red, shit is gonna get rocky
I dodge your fist, beat your blood-red socks soggy
Astrophysicist make you see stars promptly
I'm more hopped up then a brewer that's hyper
Sit Indian-style when I'm yankee on my tiger
I'm staring at a philly with some major league twins
If you didn't know by now, I'm naming baseball teams

[Chorus: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Both]
Let's bash (Let's bash), let's monster bash
Round-tripper make the pitcher feel like donkey ass
Hit a ding-dong-doodle with my bing-bong-bat
We smack a blast then we smash a bash