[Intro]
(José)

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg]
Got Oakleys on my face to keep the sun from coming in
I'm swinging at the ball and that's a double homonym
Ain't no one that can touch me, I got trouble cuddlin'
In the forty-forty club and I ain't s-s-stutterin'
The name's José, they call me Yoplait
I'm a low fat treat that the ladies wanna lay
And in a melee, bring style to the brawl
'Cause I'll punch you in a poncho and I'll shake you in a shawl
Hit the ball so fuckin' hard you can hear the cow it came from scream
Plus my mane got the sheen
I mean, it's mean to disrupt the mean, but I meant to
This ain't Bill Buckner's legs, you don't know what I went through
And I got news to present you
My collect calls to your mama got sent through
In her crib so much, I should pay rent, too
"Devil down below" when they ask me, "Who sent you?"

[Interlude]
(Mark)

[Verse 2: Akiva Schaffer]
The house of pancakes is my favorite place
I love the booth seating and I love-a the taste
My Andros are part of a nutritious breakfast
My neck so big that it broke-a my necklace
Slipped on the puka shells on the floor
Had to go re-up at the puka shell store
"Hey, Mark, welcome back to your favorite shop"
Yo, shut the fuck up and put the pukas in the box
"Okay, Big Mac, there's no need to be rude"
I'm sorry Bob, it's the steroids, they fuck with my mood
Now put the pukas in the bag before I blow my top
'Cause me and Jose 'bout to smash back to IHOP