[Interlude]
STAN: If you work in the entertainment business and you make money you’re a sellout!
MR. POSTUM: Hey, this is a capitalist country, pal. Get used to it
RANDOM COWBOY 1: I tell you [...] I ain’t never seen nothing like it
RANDOM COWBOY 2: Well I ain’t never seen this before, neither
JIMBO: Everybody ready
STAN: Here we go
KYLE: Finally!
MR. GARRISON: Okay, children, I have some very exciting news for you
LAMBCHOMP: I'd like to sing you a song!
MR. ROMERO: This is it... And a one and a two and a-
TERRANCE: AGH! You got me again!
PHILLIP: That's Tom Foolery!
[Verse 1: Headlock]
I got freestyle skills that I'm constantly defending
[?] don't vote, guess in the referendum
I'll strip you of your royalties, destroy all MCs
And have no union benefits for sacked employees
Battle me? Well, that's a bad strategy
Because I take Duracell bunnies and rip out their batteries
And apply the power to me, to defeat all those cats
Who think, that uh, Headlock is always whack
[Interlude]
MR. MACKEY: Have you been smoking marijuana? Marijuana's bad. Mkay? Mkay?
[Verse 2: [?]]
I don't get kissed by no spliff
I just sit back, and think of some cool shit
Uplifts your thinking, never drinking to excess, or
Mess with no hardcore drugs
Back in the day friends, used to call me Slugs
Rocking them dreadlocks, putting fools in headlocks
On some tripped out shit like bednobs and broomsticks
I'm just chilling out, like a freezer, I'm coolin'
[Interlude]
OFFICER BARBRADY: What’s all this?
OFFICER BARBRADY: What’s all the hoo-ha?
OFFICER BARBRADY: What’s all this?
OFFICER BARBRADY: What do you have to say?
[Verse 3: Mic Lez]
What have I got to say?
I be grabbing the mic and then when I recite
And I be high and flyer than any fucking kite, when
I've smoked so much dope that I'm finding it hard to cope
I wanna always provoke the wackest MC, that steps to me
These rhymes be pedigree, it's a felony, man
We're from the Hills, we've got all the skills, and we know the fucking
Hills, bringing thrills like a fucking rollercoaster
What the fuck? I'll choke you, and then I'll smoke you, like a cone
[Interlude]
MR. GARRISON: Children, do you know how to file a police report?
MR. GARRISON: Oh, no you don't!
MR. GARRISON: These are INDEPENDENT
[Verse 4: Flak/Fatface]
I'm independent, so fuck you sellout losers
My style's more thick than a schooner of Cooper's
I'm telling you, beggars can't be choosers
This is for the Crossbred Troopers
Now my beat kicks in, I start ripping
I used to be down with finger licking but fuck that
Now I'm mic ripping, and flipping, and grabbing MCs by the throat
And telling them "get fucked", because my style's too hard
[Interlude]
CHEF: Hello there children!
CHEF: Did you [...] hear [...] the news?!
CHEF: Wait a minute
CHEF: All kind of crazy stuff is gonna happen
[Verse 5: DJ Debris]
Name's Debris, or Dingo for short
But I don't steal babies, I steal beats for sport, so uh
Come and play a round of golf with me
And I'll take you to a place called the land of Debris
An MC/DJ, I once displayed
Skill on this microphone, and I uh
Lost my footing on this verse one time
So I've gotta sit back and uh, recline
[Interlude]
CARTMAN: Wow!
KYLE: Dude, that kicks ass!!
KYLE: Check it out!
KYLE: This [...] better be good
CARTMAN: Will you relax?!
CARTMAN: I’d like to see you do better!
[Verse 6: Kris/Edits]
Better, come better than the Hills? Ha, never
We're doing it for the love while many doing this for the cheddar
Now I think I need to let you know you need to get a
400% Australian wool sweater
And then I think perhaps, uh, you can bring it hot
But Hills are coming through with the raw hip-hop
And just to let you know that it's all off the top
Me and After Hours, yo, we're never gonna stop
[Interlude]
JIMBO: What’s all the ruckus over there?
JIMBO: Okay, that’s enough of that
NED: Hiya. Get along little doggies
[Scratches: [?]]
[Interlude]
MR. HANKEY: Howdy Ho
MR. HANKEY: Well, shucks [...] can’t thank you enough for trying
[Verse 7: Pressure]
MCs talk shit like Mr Hanky, they best forfeit
When the hardcore shit comes knocking down your door, kid
We hectic like fog that hang in the Hills
You're looking featherweight like chumps that be slinging the pills
Now hang on, just slow down, hang on, kid slow down
You know Pressure throw nouns at any MC showdown
I'm so down, what, been down for the longest time
I got the strongest mind, when I grab the mic and prolong the rhyme
[Interlude]
CARTMAN: *Screams*
CARTMAN: [?]
CARTMAN: Me so horny! Me rove you long time!
CARTMAN: Suckie, suckie, five dara!!
[Verse 8: Simplex]
A freestyle flow, kinetic energy, drop down when
The perpetual rhymer, instrumental drops out of the mental
It's combined, with my rap matter, in other words
I'll take it back like you fucking grab cans and gather
All your five cent pieces, I'll leave your nieces and your daughters
And your nephews whenever you step up to the MC slaughter, be
Able to drop the skill whenever the hills come back and bust
Because you know that I'll be coming out, I see you in disgust
[Interlude]
KYLE: Hey, what's happening?
KYLE: I'm gonna show you how to kick ass
CARTMAN: Sweet
MS. CRABTREE: That ain't how you do it. You do it like this-
[Verse 9: Integer/Artistik Intalekt]
This is how it gets done
I set some, sick freestyle raps off
Exact off the mark, I lyrically spark all types of art
This shit's raw, because I rip the surefire lyrical live wire
Sure to shock you, rock the hip-hop to the core of the matter
The raw rapper that's hardcore, exact all facts that just splatter
MCs across the back wall I'm exact, all that
While you're ordered to stand back witness this explosion
[Interlude]
HOLLYWOOD TYPE: If you could just turn yourself down, you’re at about a seven right now and we need you at about a three, okay?
[Verse 10: [?]]
Now turn the levels up, and easy on the treble
Want to battle me? I'll put you in a place of Double Jeopardy
And infect you with an ill form of leprosy
And you'll be doing damn chemotherapy for weeks
'Cause it was me who infected you with my radioactive rhymes
That made you blind and gave you cancer in your mind
Now let's go back in time and I'm sure you'll find
Me and my peers, beatbox and beers, kickin' suckers in their rears
[Interlude]
JIMBO: What?! Oh my God!
JIMBO: Spectacularrrrr
NED: Bueno. They're spectacularrrrrr
[Verse 11: Suffa]
Uh, uh, uh
Spectacular, here comes the Hood, what?
I gots to rock and stop you like a blood clot
In your veins, causing aneurysms
When I come in through with the fat lyricism
It be him, I, begin to wreck shop
When I comes through on the mic, I get props
Why do these MCs try to sing soft?
My style is fly, yet they try pull my wings off, uh
[Interlude]
CARTMAN: I think we’re almost to the end
STAN: Yeah, this line is way too long!
CARTMAN: Being a sellout is sweet, because you make a lot of money. And when you have money you don’t have to hang out with any poor ass losers like you guys. Screw you guys, I’m going home
